I’ve been thinking a lot about my race lately, namely, what it means to be mixed.
I’ve always been aware that I’ve been ‘other’ to my mostly white friends. My olive complexion always being remarked on, what a “lovely colouring I have” and how I “must get a great tan.” Before people even read my last name, they tilt their heads at me and I can see the cogs turning in their heads as they try and figure out the most sensitive way of asking where I’m (or my parents are) from.
Greetings, all. I thought I’d share this piece that I wrote last year, originally posted on a health and wellness website called The Olive Fox, which is now sadly defunct. I didn’t want this post to go to waste, so I thought: what better place to rehome it than my ol’ faithful blog? It’s quite apt really, since this post is about mental health and meditation, and as of late, I’ve started incorporating meditation (and yoga) back into my routine to overcome another bad spell of mental heath. I hope you enjoy.
Have you ever watched that episode of Friends when Joey and Chandler talk about ‘the fear’?
Rachel expresses her exasperation of working as a waitress at the coffeehouse for so long, when all she wants to do is work in the fashion industry. Joey tells her how it is: as long as she has this job, there’s nothing pushing her to get another one, and that she needs ‘the fear.’ Chandler goes on to explain that if she quits this job, then she’ll have the motivation to go after a job she really wants.
RACHEL: Well, then how come you’re still at a job that you hate? I mean, why don’t you quit and get ‘the fear’?
CHANDLER: Because, I’m too afraid.
I think we can all related to this situation in one way or another. I, for one, lean a little more towards Chandler’s perspective. Not that I hate my job by any means; it may not be what I envisioned myself doing, but I certainly don’t want to quit. But, I will admit, that I live my life with too much fear.