When I first moved down from Sheffield to Ashtead in March 2017, I was in a frustrating time in my life. I was feeling stale in Sheffield, working a job I hated and made me feel stressed and upset every single day. All of my job applications were being rejected left, right and centre. I was living nearly 200 miles away from my boyfriend at the time. And though I had a close-knit group of friends (the only thing keeping me in Sheffield), I still somehow felt disconnected from them. Oh, and I was, like, SUPER depressed.
So I took action. I knew I wouldn’t be able to grow in Sheffield anymore, so I knew I had to move. I had been saying since uni that I wanted to move to Manchester one day, and that seemed like the next logical step. A bigger city, more opportunities, and the added benefit of having friends there, too. But, there was a complication that my boyfriend lived in Surrey. We had already been doing long-distance for a year and a half, and the thought of staying long-distance for an undetermined amount of time didn’t feel right.
I love sharing my life online. I don’t know what it is about it, but I do find something truly cathartic about getting my thoughts and feelings out into the world. This is especially true when people really respond to it, saying that they too feel that way, or they also struggle with this certain thing.
I got accused recently of sharing too much of myself online, particularly the bad parts. Someone close to me said that my social media presence was taking too much of a ‘negative’ turn, particularly on Instagram. That sharing certain parts of my life – such as struggles with mental health and loneliness – was not something people wanted to see. “Instagram is where we go to escape,” they said, “we don’t want to be reminded of the sad things in life.”
Greetings, all. I thought I’d share this piece that I wrote last year, originally posted on a health and wellness website called The Olive Fox, which is now sadly defunct. I didn’t want this post to go to waste, so I thought: what better place to rehome it than my ol’ faithful blog? It’s quite apt really, since this post is about mental health and meditation, and as of late, I’ve started incorporating meditation (and yoga) back into my routine to overcome another bad spell of mental heath. I hope you enjoy.
I woke up two hours before my alarm. It happens sometimes, usually when I’ve had too much caffeine the day before, and my body can’t fully relax. Lately though, I’ve been waking up earlier due to a sinking feeling in my chest. An emotional anchor, a grieving.
I put the feelings to one side and began my morning routine of social media hopping. Logging on to Instagram, Twitter and Facebook – in that order – to catch up on the world’s events while I’ve been asleep. I only ever spend the briefest amount of time on Facebook where possible, as it has become overrun by memes and clickbait videos I’m not interested in. But that morning, I came across a video that compelled me to stay.
October not only brought on longer nights and colder mornings, but it also offered a lot of exciting stuff. After a lovely reception from my September catch-up post, I thought it would be rude not to do a little summary about the last 30 days, too.