It’s the age old dilemma – you sleep with someone after the first date and then you don’t hear from them again. A problem that I’m not exactly unfamiliar with, but hadn’t encountered in a while. And let me tell you, it doesn’t feel great the first, second or any other subsequent times.
Does anyone remember this onimus tweet I posted a while back? Well, hold onto your butts and let’s rewind, shall we.
J greeted me with a simple, “hey, pretty lady,” which was always going to grab my attention, because I am a pretty lady who loves a compliment. I matched with her around the time I received news about landing my new job, so I was pretty excited about it and telling everyone who would listen. We discussed that for a while and made other polite chit-chat before I asked her out for a drink. Because if I’ve learnt anything so far during this experiment, you have to make things happen as soon as possible, otherise you get stuck in a forever limbo of chatting to a stranger that you don’t even know is worth your time.
I matched with H after he liked one of my pictures that was essentially a family portrait I took of myself and the cats when we first got them as tiny kittens. I looked through his profile where he had a picture of himself with daisies laced through his beard and I commented back: “Daisy beard is a strong look!”
He replied that my ‘smile game’ was strong, which is the first compliment of it’s kind that I had ever heard. I noticed early on that his way of messaging was… irritating. Lots of short messages one after another, and too many ellipses where they weren’t necessary. But, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him my number when he asked for it.
I could tell from his profile that he was a comedian – one of his profile pictures was, after all, of him against a brick wall with a microphone in hand. If that wasn’t telling enough, there was another photo where he was wearing a sign that said ‘don’t feed the comedian’. I asked him about it.
“Only at nighttime,” he said, “during the day I’m in meetings that take up most of my Tuesday.”
A little disclaimer: between you and me, I’m not going on these dates and posting about them in ‘real time’, ie. soon after they happen. Because I scheduled my first few days so close together, and I’m posting on a weekly(ish!) schedule, it means that these dates happened weeks before I actually write about them
Why are you telling me this, Ella? I hear you ask. Well. As hard as I try to make notes about my dates soon after I go on them, sometimes I forget, so my memory becomes hazy. That’s why I rely heavily conversations that occur with my dates in-app (or WhatsApp and iMessage etc.) to jog my memory at certain points.
On his Hinge profile, F wrote: ‘I’m convinced that Chicken Katsu Curry is the reason I will never be a vegetarian.” I wrote back, with the ever predictable, “The vegan and vegetarian katsus at Wagamama are pretty good though!” You know, like the typical (almost) vegan I am, pushing my vegan propaganda at people (but seriously, I’ve had all versions of the katsu and the vegan one tastes pretty much exactly the same as the chicken one).
“Thanks for the info! You may have just saved the lives of literally hundreds of chickens,” he replied.
“I live to serve my chicken people,” I said.
(Look, I like flirting but I never said I was good at it, alright?)