Adventures in Dating 11: A Date with a Mate.

So you can understand my slight apprehension in recounting a date with someone who will very much read this. And of course I knew that going in, and nothing horrendous happened, but it’s just… I don’t know, it’s a very unique situation! I like to preserve the anonimity of my dates as much as possible, and I feel like I have to do this even more so with someone I already know. And, somehow, revealing the details of a date with someone I know, feels a HELL of a lot more vulnerable than dates with all these fleeting strangers. But, the show must go on…

While K and I have been friends for many years, for a while, we weren’t friends ‘IRL’ because we met on Tumblr. Remember Tumblr? The days where we’d word vomit our feelings into little text blocks, anonymously ask strangers invasive questions, and reblog ‘relatable’ poetry, Lana Del Rey lyrics, and photos of half naked girls smoking cigarettes in bathtubs? Those were the days

Anyway, that’s how K and I initially met, by following each other’s Tumblr blogs, and then over the years maintaining a friendship that ended up extending beyond the walls of the internet.

After coming back from a two-date day with F and G, I posted a Story to my Instagram celebrating not having to socialise for the rest of the weekend. K responded to it, asking me how they went, and we chatted about the experiment as a whole

“I’m intrigued by these dates,” he said, “I reckon I should be one of your dates, too. It would be really funny and interesting to read about myself in a ‘research’ post!

I replied, “That’s not a bad idea! I have thought about what it would be like to go on a date with someone I already know, and how that would impact not only the date but the whole experiment.”

“Well, I am happy to be a guinea pig.”

He initially posited that he could be the last date I go on in the project, but since this experiment is due to end around July, that was a long time to wait, and we decided to close the gap. So a date was set; he doesn’t live in London but like the good sport he is, he travelled over and we had a date day.

This date was coming almost straight off the back of my date with J, and needless to say with all the alcohol that was consumed, and me not getting in until nearly 4am, I was still feeling a bit worse for wear. But I didn’t let that stop me. I suggested a great way to start off the day was to wander around the big Foyles bookshop on Charing Cross Road. Because 1) what’s cuter than a bookshop date and 2) K and I are both big book nerds, so it was the perfect combination.

K, having never been to the big Foyles, was very impressed. And who wouldn’t be? Five floors of books AND a coffee shop on the top floor? It’s the book nerd’s dream. So we ambled and browsed the various floors and shelves, until we made our way to the top and had a coffee to rest from the intense book browsing.

I’ve not often been on dates with people I’ve been friends with for a while beforehand. And the times that I have, it’s been very coded in, “is this a date, or are we just chilling as mates?” Much like my attitude towards going on a date with any girl. Maybe I just have problems identifying what’s a date and what isn’t? Am I going too deep? Maybe? Am I overthinking? Definitely.

We moved on to one of the many BrewDog bars London has to offer, and discussed things like getting too drunk at weddings, being wind-up merchants (well, K specifically) and serial killers. Because is it really a date if you don’t discuss your favourite true crime documentaries and podcasts?

At the BrewDog, K paid for our pints, but we split the bill at dinner later. We had another pint at the station (honestly, I don’t know how my liver got through all the alcohol I consumed that weekend, what a trooper), at the Wetherspoons in Victoria, no less. If that doesn’t sound romantic, well, we held hands throughout, and before we parted ways, even had a little kiss. Apparently I’m better at establishing dates than I thought.

This date was much more casual and lowkey compared to my date with J, but it was a nice contrast. It was also really nice to hang out with someone I already knew in a ‘date’ setting. When you already know someone quite well, it makes things slightly easier, because you don’t feel like you have to impress them. The groundwork has already be set and you can focus on having a good time (after a little bit of IS THIS A DATE THO? Awkwardness, of course. Or is that just me?)


I hate to disappoint, but there won’t be a soundtrack for this date. Because for the LIFE of me, even after scouring my music library, I couldn’t find a track that quite encapsulated the feeling of this date. Maybe it’ll come to me later. Or maybe it’ll live in a song-less limbo for all of eternity. Does it matter either way? In the grand scheme of things, probably not.

more: instagram | twitter | other dates

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